According to Wikipedia, impulsivity is defined as:
impulsivity (or impulsiveness) is a multifactorial construct that involves a tendency to act on a whim, displaying behavior characterized by little or no forethought, reflection, or consideration of the consequences. Impulsive actions are typically “poorly conceived, prematurely expressed, unduly risky, or inappropriate to the situation that often result in undesirable consequences,”…
This, is my cute, lovable and charming son #2. And this, is his bona fide diagnosis from a pediatric specialist he was referred to when things got a bit, let’s say…..interesting. No ADHD. No oppositional defiance. Definitely no learning disability or any sort of sensory issue (vision, hearing etc). No medication needed (thankfully), and the only recommendation was a set of eyes on him at all times. Apparently, this is a personality trait that was genetically passed on to him and I would have to learn to manage it. Thank you birth parents.
(Insert concerned mom hat trying to put together a professional support team).
(Insert advocate hat as I spent 3 years trying to explain to the school why they should go to the board and ask for a teaching assistant and that dumping him into the behavioural class was not a solution. He got no supports because he was “too high level functioning” for the school to even approach the board – and this was WITH the epilepsy diagnosis on top).
Many parents will say that this description is accurate of their kids, and some may be right, because after all, kids are kids. However when the child’s safety is at risk (and other kids within said child’s realm), impulsive behaviour takes on a whole new meaning.
(Insert disciplinarian hat – there were many innocent by standers….)
Climbing out of basement windows to get outside because it was raining and his caregiver said “no outside play today”, was, in his 3 year old mind, a logical solution to a problem. It didn’t matter that he got wedged in the window, or how we would get back in the house once he was outside. The only thing that mattered was getting outside.
Grabbing a golden retriever from behind, was also logical in his 5 year old mind. It is the furthest point from the dog’s mouth, hence should be the safest. Needless to say, he was quite stunned when this golden retriever (a local, friendly dog), threw him on the ground and gripped his face in his jaw to subdue him. He still asks me about the puncture marks on his forehead, and sometimes, I can still see him approaching a dog from behind. *Cringe*
(Insert apologetic neighbour hat when the dog was quarantined by the city for 10 days).
Natural consequences and past experiences don’t register when he makes decisions. He can recall, when asked and forced to pause before an action, what the consequences can be and can identify better options 100% of the time. The problem lies when that split second pause isn’t there. And this is not only scary, but petrifying to a parent.
I’m happy to say though that as he’s getting older, his urge to run into the middle of street (because it’s larger than the sidewalk), has reduced. I’m hoping that as his body gets bigger, it will be a bit tougher for him to move as quickly and hence that innate “pause” will become more prominent on his own. I’m also hoping that a year at a specialized school gave him some valuable self-regulating tools and the low teacher-student ratio he needed to head into grade 3 next year on a positive note!
I’m also praying, not hoping, because I don’t think I can deal with another call from the school advising me that there was an incident and son #2 was lost for 20 minutes.
The Single Mom Chronicles 