The Single Mom Chronicles

2015 was amazing and you’ve got some big shoes to fill…but I know you’ll be just as great.

As you are the year in which I turn fort….(really??), and I’m supposedly wiser, I propose we both abide by the following guidelines:

1. It doesn’t matter how many methods of communication you create and develop for my clients, friends, family, and marketing enthusiasts to find me, I WILL take a few hours of the day for myself when no one will get a hold of me. I deserve to drink my glass of wine in peace at the end of day and I won’t stop YOU from your pursuit of telepathic messaging.
2. I refuse to feel guilty about my kids being ‘bored’. YOU are making them 13 and 10 this year, which means if they choose to get into a state of boredom, then that will be their problem to solve. My days of creating activities and revolving around their pursuit of sensory stimulation, are over. I will provide them the necessities of life and be engaged with them on a daily basis and together, we will keep them out of harm’s reach.
3. I will not aim to lose weight. If YOU can keep gravity in check, I will do my part to dress in more flattering clothes as well as shake the ‘frumpy mom’ look. I will take a few hours each week to savour my moksha yoga classes and keep my body moving but I have finally understood that because I’m not 6 foot Giselle tall, I will always be curvy. If my parents had shared the tall genes, my current body stretched out a few more feet would look exactly like hers, so there. You ensuring gravity plays nice + me keeping myself moving = current state with no additional gaining of body mass or weight. Joy.
4. When strangers start talking to me, I will not look at them and treat them as if they’re mass murderers. I will be kinder and more approachable and YOU will keep rapists and any sort of bad people away. Seeing as kindness is not my usual state of existence, you may want to send Taye Diggs my way for practice.
5. I’ve been single for the last decade, citing my new business and young kids as my reasons for not having enough time to go out. Seeing as both have grown and flourished into independence (thank God!),  I will now start getting out more to increase my chances of crossing paths with my next Mr. Right. I will accept invites to go out without using the excuse that my youngest has pneumonia, and YOU will keep videogaming, living-in-their-parents-basement middle- aged men away. Oh, and stalkers too.

So 2016, off you go now on your merry way to being even better than 2015. Oh, and when I get warning messages to service the car/fridge/rogers box/furnace/toilet, I will call and arrange it right away. I promise not to leave it for days on end and YOU promise not to let anything blow up.

xoxo,

a.